Boundless Bliss(a rant(again))
every once in a while, like once or twice a month, i will get this overwhelming bliss that bleeds into my perception of everything. it is happening right now. imagine a blanket being thrown with great accuracy over a standing persons head. now imagine that blanket being pure unbounded happiness and love. that is what i feel in these overwhelming moments. in psych we learned about manic depressiveness, and this feeling seems similar to what is explained as mania, or the “up” side of bipolarism. except, unlike some of the examples we saw in a video, i don’t just loose my morals and fuck shit up. i just sit and think. my mind explores images and i forget all my Human based problems. these moments dont last long, but they are rather distracting. on school nights they completely destroy my ability to do homework, and on weekends can make me fairly silent in a scene i would normally be very talkative in. i try to rationalize what it is that causes it, but nothing seems right. im in a time in my life where i ponder spirituality daily, imagine the 4th dimension, and don’t understand how someone can keep their mind on boring dramatic things high schoolers talk about for more than 3 minutes. ive considered my self atheist for my entire life. i still don’t believe there is any supreme being who created all of this, but i have considered reincarnation at great length. the only way i can explain it, is that this life is pretty damn bizarre, and if you look at it with an open mind, why would everything that exists, be able to be perceived by the human (for example the 4th dimension: you can’t point in the direction of the 4th dimension, because we cannot perceive it, but it could exist). or what defines logical? i used to think that logic was a solid idea, but after some thinking i feel like logic is a humanized trait. no one knows what life is or how it started, so why would it be logical that life just ends…or that there is more life in some other formation after death. maybe this life is just a stage or point in time in an infinite cycle of some weird experience by an outsider, that has entered this world/universe, and is considered your “self” or “me”. where does a circle begin? where does it end? personally i feel like im more than just what is constituted as my physical being, but maybe thats just my physical being projecting a very large feeling into my self to make me think there is more to life…i don’t know. maybe thought is the 4th dimension….POINT to thought or imagination. you can’t. you can point to neurons that produce these things, but they are just cells. explain perception. if the 4th dimension exists, the 3D universe bends into the 4D. maybe when/if that happens/ed, it allowed the 4D, or thought and imagination, to start infiltrating our world, and life itself. these are the things that flash through my head in these moments of boundless bliss. how could i be expected to do a reading on photography techniques when such things are pillaging my mind?